Bloodlust
by AlwaysJasper'sGirl
Summary: This is the third of my Timberlee stories. She's a girl as a replacement as Bella and I changed parts of the plot. This is an addition to connect my versions New Moon and Eclipse! Enjoy!
1. Chapter 1

Bloodlust

Chapter One: First Day

It was the first day of my senior year of high school. My friend Phoebe spent the night over at my house so we could cry together about how much we would miss high school, even though we had been complaining about it months before. Cliques, bullies, and so on, that would soon be over, and we would truly miss it! I knew this day would come. I'd been waiting for it for the majority of three years, and it was only the first day of the school year, but nine months from now, I would graduate a year early from Forks High School, at seventeen years old. Phoebe's apartment was in Forks also, which meant we could see each other daily for the remainder of high school.

I smiled at Phoebe as we wrestled over the tiny bathroom mirror. We were so different, yet so similar. She moved to Forks upon my request because we were practically inseparable. We spent the last two weeks of our summer break fixing up her apartment. I was still grounded from the events of late July, but my dad, Charlie, loosened up a lot since that day I returned from Italy, and then two days later when he announced the exact nature of my punishment. I was allowed to see Phoebe whenever I wanted, Jacob Black who was another friend, and my best friend in the entire world, as well as the sister of my boyfriend Alice. Alice was always allowed to come uninvited and we could spend forever together if we wanted. Dad held no grudge against Alice, though she was the one who came to get me before my boyfriend, Edward Cullen, committed suicide in Italy. Alice and I had run half way across the world to save him. I never regretted it, and I wouldn't have done things any differently if I was faced with the decision again, even with the knowledge of how mad Dad was. Dad loved Phoebe and Alice, and Jake was like his own son, even though we hadn't exactly been getting along. There were still restrictions when it came to visiting with my boyfriend. He was allowed to drive me to school--a rule we had agreed on the previous night at dinner. I was allowed to see him for two hours outside of school. Of course, Edward still snuck in my window at nights to watch me sleep. Except for when Phoebe came over. I had accepted those terms because I expected them to be worse, like never being allowed to see Edward ever again after he'd left me, and especially after I'd ran off to Italy.

I slipped out of the bathroom to get dressed for school. My room was filled with memories from my junior year and the last bit of summer once Edward came back. I smiled at them all as I headed to my overflowing closet. Phoebe always took longer than I did to get ready. Her car was outside parked across the street. Edward would be there to pick me up soon. So I slipped into a pair of skinny jeans, a red v-neck t-shirt, and my favorite pair of flat boots. My backpack was on the desk with my beloved picture of Edward--my favorite of him ever--and a few more of us, all framed, all dear to my heart. The others were pinned onto the walls, laying around on the floor, all over my room. I grabbed my backpack, cellphone, and my iPod quickly.

"Hey, I'll see you at school," I yelled at Phoebe on my way downstairs to the kitchen. I grabbed my favorite coffee mug--Edward and I had painted it together one day during our two hours. I made myself an espresso and another for Phoebe, which I left on the counter for her to find. She made herself at home wherever I was. I hurried through a bowl of cereal, anxious to see Edward again. It'd been twelve hours almost. I missed him after ten minutes, and I was dying to see him now. I smiled, chewing on my lip when his silver Volvo appeared at the end of the street. He was speeding again! Even if he was unable to be hurt, that made me nervous. Backpack over my shoulder, I ran to hug him. He spun me around, laughing. Then he put me down and pushed my hair out of my face so he could look me over. It was like he was trying to tell if my health was okay or not. "You look beautiful," he told me, leading the way back to his Volvo. He opened my door for me. Another ritual.

As much as I once thought I hated school, the first day of the end was here. And that's when I realized how much I would miss it. I would miss all the memories, the laughs, the stupid jokes that didn't make sense anyway. I didn't want to see the end of high school. I would miss the friends I'd made, the whole school, and some of the teachers too. No one knew how much. Things would change after graduation. I would have to move onto thinking about college, a major, make new friends, decide on a college, plus Edward kept hinting at marriage, which was an exciting, yet terrifying thought. I was terrified to move on from the life I'd grown used to. I would miss that life.

Forks High school was tiny. About three hundred fifty students or so. I was friends with most of the senior class, which was tiny anyway, but my closest friends were Alice, Jessica, Angela, Lauren, Mike, Ben, Tyler, Anthony, and of course Phoebe too. Behind me on everything, there was Edward. He was a vampire, and if anyone knew, that could and would destroy us. Despite that, he supported my dreams of modeling, acting, and singing, even if they put him in the public eye. I blew my record deal by running to save him in Italy, but I decided to preserve it slowly and not take advantage of the fact that my stepfather, Ted, was a producer. So my music was on MySpace, I continued to write music, and whenever possible, I sung in coffee shops around the whole state of Washington. That way, I had the time to think about each move, talk to Charlie about it since he was the reasoning in my life, talk to my beloved mother and my little brother about the pros and cons, ask Phoebe's advice, then talk to Edward and make my final decision. The decision was always mine, but where would I be without the advice given to me?

"What're you thinking about?" Edward asked, breaking into my thoughts.

I smiled at the familiar question. Some vampires had special powers. Edward was one of those vampires. He could read mines, but my mind was the one exception to that. Alice could see the future. Jasper Hale, Alice's mate, could control people's emotions. While some wouldn't call it a power, after what Edward had told me about vampires, I concluded that it was a gift: Carlisle Cullen could resist human blood--the Cullens survived on only animal blood. That sounded like a power to me, especially because Carlisle worked at the hospital in Forks.

I glanced at Edward. "I'm thinking about how wonderful you and your family are for supporting me and everything," I answered with a smile--it was partially true. "Rosalie didn't even glare at me when we ran into each other in Olympia last week when Alice was dragging me to shop."

Edward kept a one hand feel on the steering wheel while he reached over and touched my cheek softly. The way he did that made me crazy. I was just a human. Edward was a vampire. I could die. Edward could live forever. So when he touched my cheek like that, I knew he was trying to remember how soft my skin was so he could never forget it once I was gone. Of course, there was one solution to that--turn me into a vampire so I couldn't die in the first place. But I swore not to ask Edward to change me anymore after he left; it only made our relationship more complicated. I still wanted it though. More than ever.

Edward cleared his throat. "She and Emmett left last night," he announced quietly. "They might not be back for a while knowing Rosalie."

The fact that Emmett was gone made me a little sad. He was the big brother I never had. As much as he teased me for my clumsiness, I loved to spend time with him, even if Rosalie was there to glare at me. Edward was close to his family--they'd been together for so long! As much as I would miss Emmett's huge laugh and even his teasing, I knew Edward would miss his big brother even more, even if he didn't let on. "But at least Jasper's still there," Edward said when I was silent.

I nodded. With me under house arrest, Edward was really the one suffering. I wanted to be free for a number of reasons, but the most important and the main reason was simply Edward. I closed my eyes when Edward turned on a Bach CD. He shared my love for classical music, but it made more sense for him to love it. He was born in 1901 actually. I was born in 1992. I was the modern girl in love with an old fashion boy. We were similar, yet so, so different, we complimented each other's temperaments. I wasn't the kind of girl most would picture with Edward--shy, clumsy, stubborn, self-conscious, short tempered, and not the most beautiful girl around. Plain Jane, he'd called me that once, and it somehow fit. Though I'd always dreamt of someone like him, I never thought it would happen to me, but there he was. Vampire or not, I didn't care because he was at my side and in my heart forever.

Edward sighed. "So what should we do with our two hours today?" he asked, turning onto the exit ramp skillfully.

I glanced at him again. Two hours of twenty four. Edward was unable to sleep. Two hours to him was even less than it was for me. I shrugged finally, feeling a little down about the short length of our visiting hours. "We could go hiking and you could help me with dinner," I said, even though I wasn't even allowed to leave the house with him. Not even if Alice was there or Phoebe. And even if I wasn't grounded, Charlie didn't like when we went out. He preferred us to stay home where he could watch us. He saw exactly what had happened to me when Edward left. He couldn't trust Edward and he was even more critical than before. It made it worse that Edward could read minds. He knew exactly what Charlie was thinking every second of the day. I knew Edward let it pass--he was unfortunately used to it.

I smiled at my group of friends as we pulled into the parking lot. Alice was waiting by the paring space Edward took for months of our junior year. It was at the end of the lot where I always used to park when I drove. Now I didn't have to drive to school. Edward would always pick me up. If he didn't, I had my '83 Chevy or my '09 Ford F-150, but his presence was better. I loved the way he smelled, the way he looked at me every few seconds.

I jumped out and ran to hug my friends before Edward had put the car in park, and I left my door wide open too. I hadn't seem them in weeks! Edward followed more slowly with my backpack. Alice put her arm around my waist from behind me as I tried to catch up on the latest gossip. Jessica and Mike were giving their relationship a second try after breaking up over summer. Angela and Eric were as strong as ever, but Lauren and Ben were in the awkward, post-breakup stage. One arm around Edward, the other around Lauren with Alice still hugging my waist, we moved onto the topic of what classes we were all taking that year. Edward was in most of my classes, all but one, and Alice was in that class. All three of us had a free sixth period, as did Lauren. Edward was even in my Gym class, which would save me some of the humiliation hopefully. Sports were always horrible for me. I wasn't athletic at all, and I was unusually clumsy. Still, I managed to be decent at some sports in between my accidents. Edward could help me out, catch me if I tripped.

"Hey!" I said when Tyler joined us. I hugged him quickly, then went to hold Edward's hand. "How was your summer? I feel so out of touch here." Everyone knew the reasons my friendship had faltered over the summer. So far, everyone had forgiven me except Jessica, who was being a lot nicer.

"This summer was so boring," Tyler complained. "It's like I slept through all of it. So boring."

I smiled, and everyone probably thought it was due to the fact that I loved Tyler's sense of humor, but it was actually because Edward squeezed my hand. He knew I was thinking about the majority of my summer, which was spent crying and longing for Edward. I leaned my head against his shoulder. He still felt guilty for leaving me, even though I'd forgiven him and he left to protect me, but the guilt was still there.

My first class was French. Edward sat next to me, handed me my books, and set my backpack down. I looked around to see who was in the class. Angela, Anthony, and Sara, but that was it, which was somewhat surprising considering how small Forks High School was. The class was unusually small too. "So what did you want to do today?" I asked Edward, wondering if he had any other plans or ideas. I sat sideways in my desk so I could face him.

"Anything's fine with me," he answered with a casual shrug. "You should beg Charlie to free you, then I could take you, Alice, Jasper, and Phoebe shopping. We'll eventually have to go look for homecoming clothes, which is a human experience your father cannot possibly think of denying you. Alice will lke that. Wonder if the two hours still go if both Phoebe and Alice are with us."

I didn't know for sure, but I nodded anyway. I knew my dad well enough to know that house arrest meant complete house arrest. School, homework, and then the few hours with Edward or however much time I wanted with Phoebe, Alice, or Jake. Only Jacob and I weren't getting along. I'd forgiven him for telling him about my motorcycle experience, as well as my cliff diving thing, but Jake had started avoiding me and refusing to answer my phone calls, so I'd given up trying. He could ignore me if he wanted. That was up to him. Still, I was grounded, and as much as I hated it, I didn't want to put up the energy to argue my way into freedom. And I wasn't even sure that I deserved to be free ever again.

Nearly two months of constant tears. I'd run away multiple times. I'd gotten into a car accident. Charlie wasn't aware until much later, but I'd gotten into extreme sports such as cliff diving and riding motorcycles through a thick forest. I'd run away to Italy to save Edward, but Charlie didn't know until days after I left. I didn't even have time to leave a note. So of course I deserved to be grounded for the rest of my life in Dad's eyes. All things considered, he wouldn't go easy on me. He still allowed me to date Edward and I was allowed to see him. Those were two things Charlie suggested, not me. I had no part in it, but that only proved that he was glad to see me happy again. He still hated Edward.

Our first assignment in French was to write a two page paper in French about our summer. Edward and I were in the back row. I exchanged a glance with him. What was I supposed to say? How was I supposed to describe the near-two months without Edward? I cringed and started at the beginning. Everyone in Forks knew about Edward leaving me. I managed to write two pages without mentioning the pain I went through. I talked about before Edward left, my birthday, my trip to LA, and then the good parts of Italy. When I finished, I let Edward read it while I read his--our planned way to pass time without talking and getting in trouble. Then Edward took both our papers up to the front to turn in. As he returned, I wrote him a small note.

First day of freedom, we'll go to Olympia or maybe Seattle.

Edward read it quickly and he smiled. We passed notes for the last ten minutes of class. Edward stood first when the bell rang--he was usually the first one to his feet. I carried my beloved copy of _Wuthering Heights _to English because I already knew that was the first book we were reading. Edward had given me it in March. I loved the book, but the leather bound copy was extremely special to me. So I brought a paperback copy that was completely tattered and falling apart. Edward carried my bag along with his.

"How did you go through high school so many times?" I asked Edward softly. "This is like the saddest thing ever. It's gonna be over soon. That's cry-worthy!"

"Never really had any friends or anything that mattered the other times, besides my family," he replied casually, and that sounded so sad. "And it's not as bad as it sounds, ya know? All your friends are graduating with you. Even Phoebe. Who woulda thought? And aren't you glad I didn't turn you now? Isn't this experience so much better without knowing that you'll have to repeat it a billion times and you'll be able to go to your twenty year reunion."

I rolled my eyes, and shook my head. "About the Phoebe comment, I know. It's just really sad to be a senior now. I feel old," I admitted with a small laugh--I was the youngest of my entire senior class. I was seventeen. Edward was technically still seventeen--he always would be. Both Alice and Edward were pretending to be eighteen. It made me feel so lucky to be graduating with them, but I still felt old now that I was a senior. It was unavoidable, but I felt the same way about it as I did the setting sun. The sunset meant it was time to sleep, meaning I would close my eyes and I couldn't see Edward. Graduating meant less time with Edward, less time to live. That was terrifying for me. Edward was much stronger than I was. I would never have been able to resist if I was in his place and he was in mine. I would have changed him the day he asked me to or had Carlisle if I wasn't strong enough. He refused to turn me into a vampire. That only told me he was a thousand times stronger than I was, which I already knew.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two: Time

We didn't even start Wuthering Heights in English. We talked about our summer. Our only assignment was to read the first chapter. Id' read the book probably a hundred times at least. I wouldn't have to, but I planned to anyway. It was something to do when my two hours with Edward were up. I spent the class seated on Edward's disk, his arms around me. Mr. Sanders was an old man, not exactly strict either. As we talked, we were allowed to move about the classroom as long as we weren't too loud. My head rested on Edward's shoulder, leaning back into him, he kept smelling my hair, which was down for once.

"Mike, here," I called when he pulled out a football, and I sat up. Edward kept one hand on my back, like he was expecting me to fall any minute, which was a likely assumption. I caught the football easily and threw it back. Then I turned to Edward, feeling the need to hear his voice. "So back to our question. What should we do for our two hours?" I asked with a grin. Why was that such a hard question to answer when we always had a billion things we wanted to do?

Edward smiled at me. "We could do homework," he suggested, and I glared at him.

"No! That's a pass time now," I replied, and Edward already knew that. "I guess we'll wing it." A decision that had probably already been made unconsciously. I cleared my throat quietly. "So... if you could bring one book to a desert island, what would it be?"

Edward pushed my hair behind an ear automatically. "Well, I wouldn't go to a desert island due to the fact that there's so much sunlight." Because he sparkled in the sun. Of course, most would probably assume that it was because he was so pale and was likely to get a sunburn. "Maybe Ulysses though," he said finally with a shrug. Any answer. "You?"

"Ulysses is a cool book," I commented, pulling my hair back into a ponytail so I could clearly see Edward's face without him pushing it out of my face every ten minutes. "I would bring Mrs. Mike, the Bible, or maybe Wuthering Heights."

"I've never exactly seen you as religious, beautiful."

"I'm not. But then I look around this world and there's so much beauty. Like the mountains, the clouds, the sun, and it makes me think maybe there's a God somewhere, a creator, someone who designed all of this, wrote out each persons' life. But then if there was a god and he had the power to write out a life, why would he make bad things happen? Was he some sick person who enjoyed seeing people suffer? But then if he was, how could he make this world around us?" I shrugged thoughtfully. "Maybe if I was on a desert island, I would get around to reading the Bible. Maybe then I could decide. For now, I've accepted the fact that I can't decide what to believe."

"Could a god create someone like me?"

I smiled sadly, wondering why Edward always had to go back to that. He could be so optimistic about everything beside being a vampire. "One thing I know from the Bible: if you've broken one commandment, you've broken them all. So we're all equal, no matter what. And you didn't choose this life, Edward. You were put into this situation. Besides, I could never do what you're doing, which is part of the reason you won't change me as far as I've gathered," I concluded quietly. No one else was interested in our conversation, so I spoke softly only to avoid attention, but the words were screaming truths to Edward, even if he wouldn't admit it.

"You still want this," Edward realized. I hadn't asked for it in weeks though. I would always want to be a vampire.

I nodded because I couldn't lie to him. "I can't control what I want sometimes, so I don't even try," I replied. "Did you think it had changed?"

"I thought you came to your senses actually. But I knew you wouldn't ever change your mind. It just hadn't hit me really. You're more stubborn than I thought."

I smiled. "Of course! I have to be with you or you'd have me madly in love with someone else and you off wherever," I said, then I grew more serious. "When you were gone, I promised that if you ever came back, I wouldn't ask you to change me," I explained. "But I couldn't control what I want, no matter how hard I tried. And I did try."

"You promised yourself you wouldn't ask anymore?"

I shook my head with a smile. "Of course not! I promised you," I replied, my smile widening. "I want to be with you and you want me to remain like this, so there has to be a truce somewhere."

"Even if it makes you unhappy?" Edward inquired.

I laughed. "Do you have any idea how happy I've been lately, even if I'm grounded? I've decided that being with you is enough. Enough for the rest of my life, like you said at prom."

Edward studied me, like he thought I was lying. He knew my problems with dishonesty and secrets though, so he came to the conclusion that it was the truth. Several long minutes were spent trying to figure out how to reply. In the end, he sighed in frustration. "I guess..." Edward smiled awkwardly. "Wow. There's no good or right reply for that," he said, playing with my ponytail, which desperately needed to be cut. The split ends were getting really bad. He took my hands in his then. I was used to the ice cold, pale white skin, so used to it I didn't shiver anymore, but it still somehow surprised me every time. "I, uh..." Edward sighed again. "It makes me realize even more how much I hurt you, and I can't stand the way your face changes when you think about it."

I couldn't deny it. There was no way I could lie to Edward about anything at all. I pushed a stray piece of hair out of my shoulder and Edward smiled at me. "It only makes me sad because I was stupid all through those weeks. You told me you wouldn't ever leave me again. I forgave you. You need to forgive yourself. Anyway, I thought you would like my decision."

Edward was silent at first because the bell rang. He picked me up off the desk and set me on my feet easily. He was so strong! He carried my bags as we headed for Chemistry in building three. "I feel like you're reluctant to make that decision," he told me. "Like you're only doing it to please me or to avoid a huge fight. Of course, I'm not so sure that fighting would do much because we always end up laughing anyway. But are you just trying to please me?"

I forced myself to look away from his gorgeous face. I'd never given it any thought at all. I just made the decision somehow, but I couldn't tell Edward that. So I thought about it as we walked to our third period class. I made the decision while I was in hysterics and I didn't even know it until much later. Or maybe I made the decision when I realized I had really. All I wanted was for Edward to come back. He came back without even knowing my promise though, and that wasn't why he left anyway. He didn't know until I'd just told him. And maybe that was a mistake. But it was one I had to live with. So I scanned the crowd for Phoebe--it was her first day in a new school. I wanted to make sure she was okay. She was in Chemistry with me too, so she could walk with us. But all the way, I couldn't get around Edward's question.

It was the kind of question I would have liked to discuss with Phoebe or my mom, but since it brought out the truth about the Cullens, I couldn't. That left me feeling so alone, even if I could still talk to Alice about it. But she was a vampire also, and Edward's brother. That wouldn't have been the same. I glanced up at Edward to see if he was waiting for an answer, but he wasn't. So I shrugged a little. "I'll let you know," I promised, and he nodded. He wasn't waiting for a specific answer, right away.

I found Phoebe chatting with Alice. I ran ahead of Edward to hug them both. I walked with one arm around Phoebe the other hand in Edward's until we reached Chemistry. We had a few minutes before class started though, so I turned in my stool to talk to Phoebe about her day so far. She was more out going than I ever was, and her first day was much better than mine. Of course, on my first day, Edward had spent almost all of it glaring at me, even if we had to partner in a discussion in English. He was brutal even. I glanced at Edward and he probably knew what I was thinking without reading my mind. "Any cute guys you want me to introduce you to?" I asked with great interest and a huge grin.

Phoebe shook her head, showing her first sign of depression or nerves. "Is there another Cullen?" she joked so I wouldn't be worried. She wasn't as tolerant as I was though, so I knew she would never ever put up with a vampire. And there wasn't another Cullen anyway.

I smiled and squeezed her hand. "We could go to La Push later. There are some nice guys over there."

Phoebe could tell my mind was on Jake. The whole thing was like before I found out Edward was a vampire. It tormented me. I just wanted to understand. But Jake was so distant. He wouldn't talk to me or even listen to me, so what could I do? What was there to debate about? I didn't know, but I couldn't bring myself to get over it. I couldn't lose my friendship with Jake, but there wasn't anything I could do to stop the distance or shorten it. So I clung to the fading friendship and wished I could comprehend the reasons. I couldn't. Not yet anyway. I believed all truth came out eventually though. Until then, I was left in the dark.

I sighed deeply. I twirled a small strand of my hair in my fingers. I sat down when the bell rang. It left me with two things to think about throughout the day. Why I made my decision about becoming a vampire and why Jake refused to speak to me. I had already excluded the possibility that it was the fact that I was with Edward. Jake liked me, I knew, but he wasn't shallow enough to refuse to talk to me because of it. Or at least that was my hope--I wasn't quite sure about it at this point. Avoiding me was so unlike the Jake I knew and I didn't know what else had changed.

I realized how concerned Edward was when I glanced at him. He was my lab partner. As had already been announced, we were only talking about the basics of Chemistry. Matter, atoms, and so on. All of which Edward could explain if I couldn't figure it out myself. So I didn't pay much attention to the lecture. Edward touched my hand under the table. I smiled at him to tell him I was okay. I nodded to myself as a pep-talk Edward couldn't deliver in class. And I returned to his question. Was I trying to please him by my decision not to ask him to change me?

That wasn't the original reason. I was trying to bribe him to come back when he couldn't even hear me. Now I continued on with the promise, even though Edward hadn't known. He didn't leave because I wanted to become a vampire. He left because he was tempted by my blood. The idea of me as a vampire was horrible for Edward. Not because he thought I would be a monster if I was. Because he was afraid I would see myself that way, see myself as he saw himself. I usually pursued what I wanted without other people affecting that. Like I'd pursued Edward when we met. Like I continued to pursue friendship with his older sister Rosalie. So why did I stop pursuing this wish? Was it because Alice's visions told me that I would be come one already? Or was it to please Edward? Maybe some of both...?

I hated growing older. The sooner I became a vampire, the longer I would be young. I wanted to be young forever like Edward. So why didn't I pursue this while I was still young?

I was so deep in thought that the bell made me jump. I settled back into my seat, eyes closed in frustration. I shook my head and stood to go to my next class, which was American History. It was my one class without Edward, but Alice was in it. I suddenly wondered what Edward's history reports would have been like. He was there to see a hundred years of it. I sighed when we reached History. Alice was saving me a spot next to her. I smiled at Edward, trying to ease his worries, but a smile wasn't good enough. I sighed. "I guess I am," I answered. I was keeping my promise just to please him in some ways. "But I meant what I said. Being with you is enough for me. I'm not sure I'll be able to die in peace if I'm leaving you here though," I explained, avoiding his eyes.

Edward cupped my chin and forced me to look into his topaz eyes. "Don't," he told me. "Don't do it for me. If you're going to make that decision, make it for yourself."

I shook my head defiantly. "I can't do that. I'm sorry."

Edward frowned. "Don't apologize, Timberlee. Just... don't worry about me. I got through a hundred years before you came around."

"Yeah, before," I mumbled. "I got through sixteen before you and look what happened when you weren't there anymore. I don't want that to happen to you." I closed my eyes--I knew Edward was about to say he would handle it when the time came. "Let's not argue, okay? I have class. You do too. Can we take the time to think and talk about it some other time? Please?"

Edward's serious face broke into a smile. "You know I can't tell you no when you ask like that," he said, and he kissed me before he left.

I laughed, taking my seat next to Alice. Yeah, maybe I should ask you to change me like that, I thought, and I was so, so glad Edward couldn't hear my thoughts then. My smile couldn't be stopped as the second bell rang, and I closed my eyes to save the memory of Edward's laugh forever. Then I opened my eyes and pulled out my notebook so I could take notes. We took notes until the bell, and Edward met me on the way to Calculus. I smiled at him. "So could I persuade you to give me a full description of what newborns go through?" I asked, leaning closer.

Edward grinned. He knew what I was hinting at. He put his arm around me, still biting back a laugh. Who knew I could make a joke about the creature I wanted to become? But at least Edward found the humor intended. "It would take more than two hours," he told me in a more serious tone.

I frowned. Our two hours of time together. I'd never realized it, but it was more than just wanting to become a vampire. I was truly fascinated by these creatures. They were put out as monsters in all the moves, and the moves were already wrong about so many other things. Some vampires were monster, as three had proved to me once. But they did have a choice, which the movies didn't talk about. It was a hard one to make and twice as hard to live with, but they did have a choice. The Cullens proved that vampires could be more than murderers. That was so fascinating to me. I wanted to know what it felt like while I was human. And then when I became a vampire, if I did, I would feel it for myself. The fact that these people seen as monsters were the best people I knew was... unexplainable. But I didn't want to become a vampire because I wanted to experience what the Cullens did. I wanted to be with Edward forever.

I glanced at Edward as I sat down in Calculus. Math was, by far, my worst subject. On top of that, I truly hated the teacher, and not only because of what subject she taught. I took my own notes, but I knew I would end up borrowing Edward's because they were more organized and made more sense than my own. And he could explain it all to me if it was needed.

The next few periods flew by, and it was time for lunch already. I was starving--Edward made sure I ate three meals a day at the very least through the last month of our summer break. I'd grown used to that diet and anything less than eating whenever I wanted to made me hungry. I walked through the line, deep in conversation with Alice. She had an idea that I liked... Just not the plan about dressing me up. "We should plan a back-to-school party for this weekend," I told Alice since that would give her the entire school to dress up if she wanted. And of course she would! Just specifically me since I was kind of her future sister-in-law. Kind of... Edward had asked me to marry him before and of course I wanted to, but I'd never told him that. So we were secretly engaged in my mind, secret even to him. It would happen soon enough. I shrugged at Alice, smiling. "I want this year to last forever, okay? So maybe I can talk Charlie out of my prison sentence just for this weekend."

"I could talk to him," Alice volunteered.

"No, no, he'd think I asked you to because Edward's your brother and all. He's curious why I haven't been throwing a fit anyway," I said. "He's gone so far as to hint that I should too, like that would help my situation any."

"Maybe he wants you to be a normal teenagers," Phoebe suggested with a grin. "It always seems like you're taking care of him, cleaning the house, not breaking the law, not trying pot, not smoking, whatever. Maybe he wants you to have a huge teenage moment, throw a fit and then he'll set you free."

I laughed at the thought. If I did that, Charlie would send me to a mental facility because it was so unlike me. "I've been less than nice lately," I told them. "I told him to shut up in... nicer terms the other day."

Phoebe doubled over in laughter. "Yeah, nicer terms. So teenager-ish!"

"He knows I can throw a fit, okay? I'm so hormonal lately." Or maybe it just seemed that way because I spent so much time with Alice and Edward who had no hormones. Lucky them!

"No, but everyone is hormonal from time to time. You're like grown up though! No sneaking out or whining about the tiniest embarrassing moment."

Phoebe didn't know about how Edward came to watch me sleep almost every night. She would think it was adorable if I told her. In Charlie's eyes, that was probably worse than sneaking out because it was done under his nose. I glanced at Edward. He handed me a tray of food and I smiled my thanks, then continued onto our usual table from last year. "But we should try to plan a party despite my prison sentence," I told Alice. She was my fellow party-planner, even when she took complete control over it and did everything possible to make sure I was the only girl noticed. "I want to document every minute after today. Parties, pictures, everything. It's senior year and so sad!"

Edward could hear in my voice that I was about to cry at the thought of it all being over with. He squeezed my hand. I glanced at him and started eating the salad he made me. He knew exactly what I liked, and he always designed it in a beautiful picture on my plate. I was never sure if he actually meant to or if he made some picture with the veggies, but I could never see anything specific. It just looked cool! I listened to my friends chat about party plans, but I kept quiet as I ate. Edward let me lean on him, like I had through our junior year. I put my feet on an empty chair, my arm rested on the table, Edward's arms around my waist, breathing softly into my ear.

It seemed like changes zoomed by me. Edward was extremely protective of me. That would never change, but something about the way he looked at me, it was changing. Not in a bad way. It made my heart pound every time and it was so intense. So deep. It was the best thing ever, the best feeling when he looked at me like that. Phoebe had moved to Forks. I was losing friends like Jake while my attempts to talk to Rosalie were doing better. It was senior year and slightly overwhelming.

During sixth period--our free period--Edward helped me take pictures of us, Alice, Lauren, and anyone else we could find in the parking lot. My memory card was full before sixth period was over. So I settled on the curb next to Edward. I laughed when I felt the tears coming. "Gosh. Never thought it would be this sad at the beginning of the year," I told Edward once he saw them coming.

Edward smiled, hugging me. "Which is why you should live as a human," he replied so quietly I was the only one who could hear. "It won't mean anything if you go through it every year."

"So it doesn't mean anything to you?" I inquired, purposefully manipulating his words.

"That's not what I meant. It means a lot to me because I'm helping you live the parts of life you'll miss," Edward explained. The parts I'll miss? Did that mean he was going to change me? "I dragged you to prom for that reason, and I plan to do the same thing this year if necessary, but I kind of hope you'll go willingly."

"No, wait. The things I'll miss?" I inquired, smiling a little. "What does that mean?"

Edward sighed. "You know more than one vampire. You promised you wouldn't ask me to change you. No matter how I look at it, and even if I hadn't pointed it out, you would have find another way to end up like this."

"Will you still love me then?" I whispered.

Edward was silent for a moment, and that scared me. I was too scared to look at him even. I sat in his arms, frozen with the fear that he wouldn't love me anymore, then Edward made me meet his eyes. "Don't ever doubt how much I love you," he told me sternly, fiercely. "I'll love you if you turn into a werewolf or a worm or a vampire. It just scares me. Alice has no memory of her human life. It's hard to imagine you that way."

"Alice's last human moments were lived in fear though," I told him. "So bad that forgetting was probably best. But if you changed me or Carlisle did, I would have so, so much to hold onto. And I would anyway if you were alive. And it wouldn't be a frightening experience. I would know what was coming. Just the memory of your arms around me would be enough," I explained, putting my hands on either side of his freezing face. "You're enough to protect those memories." I laughed, grabbing the camera from beside me. "And if I ever forget you, every moment of my life is documented anyway. You could quote everything I ever said and you would help me remember."

Edward smiled. It would be hard to forget about my past. With every picture I had, a story coul dbe told. He tightened his hold around my waist then. "I shouldn't have ever doubted your ability to calm fears," he said quietly.

I sighed, molding my body into Edward's. "Time," I muttered thoughtfully.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three: Complicated

Gym was a total disaster. Five minutes into class, I tripped over a basketball and twisted my ankle. Edward caught me before I could fall on my face, but the damage was already done and my ankle gave out from under me. Edward carried me to the bleachers were he used his ice cold hands to numb the pain while Coach Clapp ran to get an ice pack. "Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow!" I mumbled quietly when Edward started turning my ankle around gently.

"Sorry," Edward replied. "I think you sprained it. Not badly," he concluded, and moved aside so Coach Clapp could put the ice on my ankle. Edward moved to the bleecher next to me. He squeezed my hand gently. "You all right? I could drive you home."

"No. Don't," I said as casually as possible, but I could stop the grimace as Coach Clapp pressed the ice pack into the sorest part. "We have one more class. It'll be fine if I stay off it for a while."

"All right. Everyone, back to the game," Coach Clapp called, and he had a silent argument with Edward at that. I wasn't surprised either. "_Everyone_," he repeated firmly. "Except Ms. Stone. Mr. Cullen, that does include you. Timberlee, do you want to go lay down in the nurse's office for the rest of the period?"

I saw Edward send a glare towards me. He wanted me to go. At least there someone would take care of me. "No. I'll just watch," I replied. Edward rolled his eyes. He looked even more stubborn than I thought he would. It was just a twisted ankle! He didn't have to act like it was the end of the world for me. It didn't even hurt as bad anymore with the ice on it. "Go. I'll be fine. I promise I'm not faking, okay? I'll be watching."

Edward glared furiously at Coach Clapp's back, then he kissed my hand stiffly. He hated leaving me, but him getting in trouble wouldn't help me any. If anything, it would cause a mental breakdown after the embarrassment of such a thing happening on the first day of school. I propped my leg up, tied the ice pack to my ankle with an ace bandage Coach Clapp had left, and turned my attention to the basketball game. Edward glanced at me every few seconds. At first, I smiled to tell him I was okay. After a while, I didn't bother. Edward was being ridiculous, distracted by my accident too. He was worried about me when I really was fine--the ice had numbed my throbbing ankle. I laid down on the bleachers for the last fifteen minutes of class. I could feel Edward's eyes on me, but he wouldn't listen if I tried to reassure him, and I did with smiles, but it didn't work. As if I could lie to him.

At the end of class, Jessica helped me into the locker room to change and out of them where Edward took over. Our last class was Creative Writing Advanced, which was mostly for fun since neither of us needed it. The teacher was fresh out of college, new to Forks High. Edward gave me a piggyback ride to the class because he didn't want me to even try walking on my ankle yet in the fear that it would give out again.

"Oh, my!" Ms. Ellis exclaimed, seeing the scene. "What happened?"

My grimace probably gave it away, telling her it was more than a playful display of affection. "Twisted my ankle in Gym," I answered as Edward carefully set me down. "I'm Timberlee. My boyfriend Edward." I couldn't help being proud to introduce him as my boyfriend. Who wouldn't be? He was everything I could ask for and more.

"Chief Stone's daughter? I've been gone too long if you've moved here," Ms. Ellis said pleasantly.

"Yeah, I moved here in February," I told her, maneuvering myself into the closest desk. I grunted in pain. I somehow doubted it was just a bad twist suddenly. Edward's diagnosis was more reliable than my own, but it felt worse than the five dozen or more times I'd twisted my ankle in Gym class. Definitely a sprain, but I could not let him know that I thought that! "I remember you always wanted to be a teacher," I said casually. I guess it was a form of lying.

Ms. Ellis smiled. I knew her father had once been a good friend with Charlie. She was nearly ten years older than me, but the times we spoke were in the diner. We were never close because of our age difference, but she babysat me once, which left us well enough acquainted.

The class was the smallest of all my classes. Even for Forks, it was unusually tiny. Twelve students. Geeks who I'd never spoken to, Edward and myself. The first class period was spent doing what Ms. Ellis called a workshop to get to know each other. We put our desks into a circle to talk, Edward holding me up and moving my desk at the same time--show off! There was Chris, Hunter, Michelle, Nicole, Maria, Adam, John, Sam, Joe, Teddy, Edward, Ms. Ellis, and myself in the circle. We had five minutes to write down our favorite thing about school, our least favorite thing about school, what made a friend a friend, one hobby, our favorite pass-time, and our favorite genre in music.

Edward--jerk now instead of show off--suggested that I go first with a grin that made me want to punch him. Even if it wouldn't hurt him. I was completely terrified actually, but I was in a class of twelve total, so I swallowed my fears after a furious glance at Edward. "Okay, um, my favorite thing about school would be the chance to make new memories. Least favorite would be homework obviously. A friend to me is someone who is completely honest, would never lie or steal from me in any way, someone who I can go to if I need someone, but isn't afraid to come to me if they need help with something. One hobby would be photography, I guess. Favorite pass-time is reading. Musical genre is rock or classical probably," I read off my paper, sending a glare at Edward every few minutes. That only widened his grin.

By the end of class, I realized a few of the other students I could be friends with if I gave them some kind of chance. But it was sort of the class of misfits. I was the model from LA, the daughter of two murderers, adopted by a cop. Edward aws painfully beautiful because he was really a vampire. He'd changed a lot since we started dating, but no matter what he didn't belong with any specific crowd in Forks, like me. The others were social misfits because of their appearance, their unusually high IQ. BUt they weren't so different. Edward was smarter than all of them because he'd repeated high school so many times. They were average teenagers, trying to fit in. And the first few minutes of class left me feeling guilty for not becoming friends with them before since we'd each had classes together.

Our second part of the workshop was to tell the rest of the class what our book would be about if we wrote one. It was interesting. It was one topic I hadn't talked to Edward about, which made me listen extra close to his answer. He basically put our story into a simpler term. "I would write about a boy who couldn't get older and wanted to, who is in love with a girl who can get older but doesn't want to," he answered with a glance at me.

I smiled, glaring at him so no one else could see. But he was right--I didn't want to get any older, even as I did daily. No one else would know that he was talking about us, so I looked away from him when he pretended not to see my glare, but I knew he did. "I would write some kind of love story," I told Ms. Ellis, and Edward was the only one who knew that I'd written the first few chapters of the book when he left me the previous summer. Edward had read it, but no one else knew. Not even Phoebe or my mom, who I usually told everything. Edward squeezed my hand because he could guess what I was thinking about. And then the bell rang. Without thinking, I stood up and fell back into my desk from the pain. "Ow," I whispered. "That was less than pleasant." I stood again, only putting weight on my good leg that time. Edward put an arm around my waist, supporting enough of my weight so I could hop on one foot to his Volvo, and he was carrying both our backpacks. Alice, Phoebe, and the rest of the school knew about my accident by that time, which meant most of them were waiting to see how I was.

Edward opened the passenger's side door of his car and I sat sideways so I could explain to the whole crowd what happened. It was fairly basic, the kind of story Emmett would have loved. I was trying to step out of someone's way, tripped over another ball, twisted my ankle, and Edward saved my life. All the girls whispered about how sweet it was that he caught me. The guys grumbled because it made them look bad when they couldn't do the same.

Edward drove me home and carried me inside. "Honey!" Dad exclaimed, jumping out of the couch so Edward could put me down. "What happened?"

"Nothing. I'm okay. Tiny accident in Gym. Just twisted my ankle," I answered casually, watching Edward hurry away to the kitchen. I heard him open the freezer and realized he was only getting me more ice. I kicked off my shoes when he returned so he could tie the ice wrapped up in a towel around my ankle. Charlie helped me prop it up on the fluffiest pillow we had. "Ow, easy, Dad!" I said, closing my eyes. But I didn't have much to complain about. Edward hadn't tricked me into getting in his car, then driven me to the hospital to see Carlisle. That was definitely a plus!

"I don't like the look of that," Charlie told me. "It's pretty swollen. Maybe we should go to the hospital."

"Dad, no, no! If it still hurts tomorrow or if it's still swollen, I'll go willingly, but I don't want to go to the hospital right now," I complained, holding Edward's hand.

"Tim, your father's right," he said quietly. "There could be tissue damage or worse. The earlier it's found, the better. Carlisle could look at your leg on his break. But if it's still hurting..."

"No! It's just a little sore. It'll be fine in a while."

"Honey, you could need surgery to repair something. You were there when it happened to your brother. All he did was trip. Stop arguing and let's just get this over with," Charlie told me, and I clung to Edward's hand to keep Dad from pulling me up. Edward was stronger than me, but it would have taken an unusually inhuman amount of strength to get me to let go.

"Edward, tell him it's not that bad!" I commanded, hoping he would back me up. But I somehow knew he wouldn't immediately. "It's not that bad!" I exclaimed. First day of school, there was no way I would end up on crutches. I wasn't going to move from the couch, but there wasn't much I could do. Both Dad and Edward were strong enough to carry me, and I couldn't fight that if Edward walked along with me. If I rode in his car, I wouldn't even have to let go of his hand.

"Timberlee, I'm not going to argue about this. YOu can put your shoes on or I can," Charlie threatened.

I gripped the couch cushion as tightly as I could then, letting go of Edward's hand and glaring at him. It didn't work either. "It doesn't hurt anymore," I lied.

Charlie sighed. With some help from Edward, he pulled me up off the couch and dragged me out to the cruiser, half screaming. With me whining the entire time, and Edward behind us, Charlie drove me to the hospital. Carlisle took us back into his office. I sat down, glaring at Edward for not backing me up. Carlisle gently rotated my foot to see if it hurt and how much. First circle was fine. Second, I pulled away. "Ow," I mouthed.

"You sprained it," Carlisle told me, and I scoffed furiously. Why did Edward always have to be right? "But not badly," he added. "You won't even need to be on crutches. Just take it easy for a few days."

"Thanks," I told Carlisle--I wasn't mad at him. He wasn't involved in dragging me into the hospital. An innocent party pulled into the situation only. As Charlie drove me home, I wondered if pulling me, whining and complaining, on the way to the hospital would have been considered kidnapping me. But I didn't bother asking the cop next to me on the way home. I was sulking about my involuntary trip to the hospital and because Dad said I needed a break from Edward as he helped me out to the car. I'd been clutching Edward's hand the entire time mostly because I simply couldn't stay mad at him.

When we got home, I limped up to my room to do homework and figure out what to do. Phoebe was working. Alice was probably with Jasper. Edward was banned for the rest of the day. I grabbed my cell phone and looked through all my contacts. Only one, other than Edward, was tempting. Jacob.

It rang twice. "Hello?"

I smiled at the sound of Jake's voice. I really missed him! "Hey, it's me," I said. "You still avoiding me?"

"It's complicated, Tim. It's not that I want to. It's just the way things end up. I have to go."

I sighed in frustration, trying not to be furious with him. "Fine. Bye." I didn't wait for a reply. As rude as I felt, I hung up and tossed my phone away on the bed. With another sigh of frustration and anger, and sadness all at the same time, I curled up into a ball. I fell asleep so easily. My sleep was peaceful. No dream. I was glad because I feared my dream would be about how Jacob refused to talk to me. I woke up sometime later, ate a piece of pizza Charlie had ordered, did my homework, checked my email, and went back to bed. Everything was too complicated.


End file.
